I'm in a particularly pensive mood, as I've been wanting and meaning to blog the entire day, but have tried and forced myself to avoid it. It's not too hard--being the laze that I am, because once I get going, I just blather on forever...

Anyway, so many things are going on with people, with myself, it's quite hard to keep track of. I found myself friterring the hours of my day away today after a really nice, familiar feeling weekend.

I woke up this morning ready to go to bed, and that's pretty much been the feeling I've carried with me all day. My run, usually refreshing, was horribly killer toward the end, probably because of that long break, lack of food before hand and dehydration. I've recently been feeling very dizzy and nauseous/faint quite often. It's rather unsettling, and I never know when I feel like I'm going to fall. The feeling has somewhat effected everything I do, tainting my energy level, my enthusiasm and my interest in things. I don't know what it is, but it's not going away.

My anti-social vein actually runs very deep, but I can usually hide it away. It hasn't been working recently and I find myself forcing conversation with many people, if only for superficial politeness or so that I don't make an @$$ of myself. I just want people to like me. But, I must learn at what cost. Some things are just too expensive.

I had an interesting conversation today, somewhat personally enlightening...actually, scratch that...plenty of introspection can result, but I am just too tired to try that right now.

So, why am I awake right now? Everytime I want to go to bed early, some thoughts keep me up, keep me awake. I'm the inconvenient insomniac and the inconvenient narcoleptic. Usually the former, rarely the latter--unless it's really important for me to be awake.

Here I sit, ruining my posture, hunched forward on the floor of my room staring at my buddy list and a person's sn. Have you ever done that? I'm sure you have. You read their away message over and over again, and wonder if they will IM you. Being the passive person that I am. I do that quite often. It's a very tedious, tiring, frustrating experience that I do not suggest to anyone but a self-ascribed masochist like myself.

Perhaps she'll IM me.
Never mind...Sign off.

oh well.

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