Extraordinarily FRUSTRATED.

I just can't do it anymore.

Had a slightly annoying conversation with my mom. Up until last weekend I was diligently keeping track of each and every euro that came and left my hands. But I can't f-ing do it anymore. It's really hard being so freaking anal. It makes me paranoid...makes me lose my mind.

I finally told my mom as much. Though she understood, she was very disappointed, and tried convincing me to keep keeping track.

Here was our convo:

mother: Are you keeping up your expenses?
mother: looks like this month you have a lot of expenses
mother: please keep track of them
les yeux de la tete: i'm tired of keeping my expenses...it's becoming paranoiac...plus it all comes out of the bank account neway
les yeux de la tete: that means i have to write ever freakin thing i do all the time
les yeux de la tete: i mean, i saw that movie
les yeux de la tete: 6.60 euro
les yeux de la tete: market 11 euro
les yeux de la tete: medical visit 55 euro
les yeux de la tete: it's tiring, and it all comes from the same place neway
les yeux de la tete: is it entirely necessary? if it's abnormal, or special, i tell u guys neway
les yeux de la tete: and my bank account basically only includes food/groceries/eating out on the rare occasion
mother: it will definitely give us some idea how much the cost in each category.. I would advise you track it.. especially the ones that we need to pay for it.. if you can continue to do it will be nice.. just my suggestions.. you know - money comes and goes - very fast..
les yeux de la tete: i know, but it's just so much more to think about, i mean...i never did it in berkeley...and if i ever bought nething extravagant, u always knew about it neway
les yeux de la tete: if i withdraw money, it goes for food...99% of the time
les yeux de la tete: if not food, then books
mother: I don't know what to say.. you have done so well so far by tracking them... I will leave it to you then
les yeux de la tete: i know, but it's driving me crazy, b/c anytime i make a purchase, no matter how little, i have to paranoiacally write it down, record it somewhere, and then later add it to my computer
les yeux de la tete: there's so many little things
mother: you don't have to track in very details (candy..food).. you may be able to lump them into one thing (say food)
les yeux de la tete: like today, i bought some oranges, for 2.07E
les yeux de la tete: and then bread for 0.80E
les yeux de la tete: u see?

Of course, I will try to...but, that just means, in the midst of me trying to fill my freakin mind with the crap for school, I have to try and remember all my costs, the dates of those costs, etc...for the last week and a half...GOSH.

Screw it all.

...(extraordinarily pissed and frustrated...)...