I'm constantly surprised by peoples' abilities to hurt one another. My ability to hurt another person, as well. Though I try to restrain myself. I feel like someone needs to be the better person. I appreciate it when other people take that burden on. Recently, I feel like I've been taking perhaps too much. On.

Because I want to avoid one of those "it's all rapidly coming to an end"-posts. And because I don't quite feel like dabbling in my unimpassioned, unromantic "romantic" exploits, I'll just...digress...

I can't shake the heaviness of spirit..."There's a dead end straight ahead"..."There are dark clouds gathering"...

I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and a lot to be happy about. I know I should cherish these moments and all that stuff. But sometimes I wonder if I'm just growing more and more numb to the reality of things in my life. Ignoring things and pressing on, how long can you press on before hitting that dead end? Certain realities are quite ugly--don't they need to be dealt with eventually? Can you avoid something forever?

I don't think so.

But I don't know what to do. About anything.

I wish I had a Merlin.

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