Bing bang, badaboom.

1) I visited Berkeley this past weekend. Probably had one of the best weekends of my life.

2) I spoke with Jack briefly last week online. I've really grown a lot. I'd like to be his friend.

3) I spoke with EBF today. We're friends now. To be honest, I felt I handled our reconciliation a lot more maturely and better than she did. (I realize the danger of posting that here.) But, in any case, regardless of that. I could tell she was very tentative and apprehensive about resuming contact. I feel like it's USA/Iran relations, or USA/USSR relations. Hopefully things get better on that front. We're trying to start anew, although I think it is stupid to ignore history. Learn from it. Or you're doomed to repeat it. And all that good stuff.

But man, was it wonderful speaking to her. I'd missed hearing her voice. Friendships are like any relationships, and the really deep ones grow on you. There are only two people, perhaps, that I've let into my life entirely, in every which way. Who I have been completely *me* with. Correction, one person, to be honest...and she was it--there was no "opposite sex censorship crap" that might come with a new relationship, which is romantic in nature, or whatever. She was my best friend, no holds barred. Everything went. I'd never done that before. It was amazing.

And, talking again was great. When our friendship was at its strongest, she knew me like that. She just got me. Entirely. I would have liked to say it was the same on my side for her, but I know I wasn't half as observant. Not for lack of trying though. She was always just better at it than I. Anyway, it was so nice to talk to her and feel like someone really was listening, really paying attention, really caring. How strange to feel that way, but how true. I've suffered over the last three or four years from an extreme lack of confidantes. I just have trouble trusting people entirely. With she it was like old times in a way. Hard to not revert, though I know it's important for the success of our new friendship, not to. (Apparently. Or so she claims. )

For now, at least, it was worth it. I really missed her.

I know that we can never be best friends. Or rather, I do not know that, but I assume that is how she feels, or what she thinks, because she says that she doesn't want our friendship to run along the same tracks it once did. I partially agree, of course. None of that negative stuff. But we were really close.

She says she's changed a lot. I know I have too. I think we've both matured and grown in different ways--learned a lot about ourselves, our goals, priorities, love, life, loss...everything. However, I still think that people are ultimately, at their core, the same person they have always been. People's spirits and hearts do not change. She says I was too philosophical, too introspective in all of this.

"Why are you making this so complicated."

I guess that's me. But whatever all of that means. For now I'll leave that to tomorrow. I can't wait to talk to her. Again.

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