well, i've been trying to go to sleep for a long time...it's hard around here (on so many levels). anyway, i've always been excited about going to college--it's a place i felt i would be able to leave some old skin behind and be genuine..."me"...how i want to be. while, it's been an experience trying to do that--i've reached the conclusion that that's not quite possible. what's really sad (or wonderful...depending on how you look at it) is the fact that so many people will never truly know you. sure they believe they know what you're all about...but rarely are people as shallow as they are made out to be. sometimes i feel like i just want to say it all--but, then again, wouldn't things just get messy? is it really worth blowing things apart for people who don't matter in the long run? but, the problem is...who really matters? if survival of the fittest is a true testament of the human condition...then the loner is the most superior being...but, then again, human beings are social animals who need others. sometimes i get into very reflective moods--most people don't care...usually they think i'm joking. oh well, such is life...