5/10/2003

These last couple of days have been quite interesting. I think I've been up almost around the clock--if you superimpose all my sleeping/unable to sleep hours. I'm functioning on about 10 hours of sleep for the last 3 days combine. That, alone, makes for crazy days and nights.

I was considering giving another long reflective, informative post on my life, days and going ons. But then it struck me that it would only depress me more b/c of my shoutout lackage (new word there). So, i'll stick to the mundane/not so mundane to me stuff. A New York Times reporter, 27 year old, just screwed up royally, or rather, he was caught screwing up royally. I cannot fathom how someone so lucky could do something so wrong. Four years and he's writing w/ the national desk after numerous errors...that's dreamland in my opin. Lucky lucky guy----stupid stupid man.

I'm sorta just sitting here and looking out the window at my non-view--my roommate has the nice view. I've discovered that I love sitting alone in my room with a tiny light on in the dark, it's so nice and cozy--just me and my books. *sigh* never mind...my obsession w/ my computer ruins any focus i once had, whatever focus was hammered into my head at a young impressionable age.

unfortunately these posts tend to stray toward the more trivial aspects of my life. if u want the real drama u have to get the in-person/phone story. The thing with AIM, or any messenger service for that matter, is that the people you speak with there everyday have their own idiosyncrasies, their own online personalities that you come to know and love (or hate). The internet is the best place to talk about anything slightly unsettling, embarassing or annoying because the other person can't see you grimace, blush or gripe. The new AIM where you can see a person typing allows for a tiny window into a person's reactions to your statements, but really, ppl could just be really slow typers or anal grammarians. Many a time I have spoken with ppl consistently on the internet and then felt less than comfortable in their presence. In a way, the internet allows a person to avoid real contact with a person, it's all in your head and your hands, those tiny emoticons aren't true reactions, sometimes they don't even match the way a person feels. I used to always talk on the phone with friends, compulsively, one might even say. But, here at Berkeley the idea that others will hear my conversation and ruin what little privacy i have dissuades me from using my phone as often as i would like. instead, i IM like crazy--which brings me back to my original point made mid-paragraph. is it possible to have a relationship with a person primarily online and transfer that relationship to real life? do online friends actually feel comfortable when face to face with the same person? can they? online it is very easy to type something you would not normally say and press enter. just close ur eyes and do it! quickly!!! but, in person ppl are often more inhibited. so, what happens when the online relationship is wwwaaaay more developed than the in-person relationship? well, i think that's the inherent problem with messenger services like AIM or yahoo or ICQ or whatever the heck! i fear we will all have to relearn the fine art of verbal communication.

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