Sometimes I like to torture myself--to make myself feel better.

And I repeat a (my) situation to myself in third person. And I reflect on myself (it) with pity, horror, amusement and astonishment.

Then, I laugh--but not happily..

And I wouldn't even really call it a laugh b/c it's only in my head...

Outside I'm anything but happy.

Well, mocking oneself can get one close, no?

And sarcasm has its merits, doesn't it?