i really don't like nostalgia. i mean, usually the connotation is something good. but really...there's nothing quite authentic about it. it's an illusion. it's depressing.

i've realized my memory isn't that good. i can nostalgize about things b/c it's psuedo-real. but, if i in fact try and actually visualize something, remember something in minute detail...it doesn't work. sad, huh? I've forgotten what it's like to be in many situations, or whatever. i mean, i can conjure up an idea...sorta like a haze of how things were. but...it's really hard to actually rethink myself into such a situation. i suppose i never really had a good imagination.

but man. if i did. i could amuse myself for hours.

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