11/25/2004

Well, so much has happened this week. The people at synagogue keep wanting me to give them a call...and while they're very nice people. I frankly don't know what I'd tell them.

This week:

I've finally understood why depressed people overeat.
I've discovered the escapism of sleep.
I've had my computer physical memory deleted to disk...whatever that means, and lost all contact with my OS (Operating System)--which is, according to all accounts, entirely destroyed.
I've managed to humiliate myself in front of many many people.
I attended a gathering with people from Sweden, Norway, England, China, Korea, Mali, Egypt, U.S., Italy...
I ate myself to death, oh yes, "Happy Thanksgiving."
I was lent and started reading an amazing, if slightly disturbing book by Zola.
I became entirely dependent on my radio for music at home.
I've perfected masochism. Yes, really.
I've analyzed my professor to death while probably creating ulcers over the possibility of the return of my paper (and it's condition).
I've fought my self in every aspect possible--mentally, physically (sick), emotionally...
I've caught up/tried to catch up/will eventually catch up with old friends who I haven't been in contact with for a while.
I've resolved to "concentrate on the little things"...and try and get myself back in good order. That means eating right, doing work, exercising, keeping in touch with people, staying on the ball with obligations, sleeping right, and having fun once in a while. Oh yeah, and making friends.

This week a lot has happened. A lot more than can possibilly be expressed in such a public domain...but, suffice it to say that I am trying the optimism tact. At least for a day or so. I mean, (and I feel like this is somewhat of a devilish challenge, but I don't know if I'd survive that...so, please no), what more could happen to me?

On a much lighter, more trivial note: I was going to the Thanksgiving potluck and some guy proposed to me in the middle of the street. Yes, really. And no, I was not at all interested. lol. I was walking down the sidewalk, listening to music, carrying my "dish"...and suddenly this thing next to me keeps cutting up the sidewalk trying to get horizontal to me on the sidewalk. I keep hearing him say something to me, but I've learned my lesson. I ignore him...Then he starts hitting things/people on the sidewalk trying to get next to me (b/c the sidewalk is pretty narrow)...anyway, it's creating quite a commotion. I turn my head a bit so that he sees I have headphones in, and thus cannot talk. Nope, he doesn't get the clue. Keeps knocking into things and is reaching out to touch me. So I say, I can't hear you, I can't understand (I feign an inability to understand French, which probably isn't too far from the truth)...Anyway, basically he asks me tons of questions, I just answer monosyllabic, walking extraordinarily fast to the metro now. He asks if I have a husband. I say no...and yeah....he says he'll gladly take the job. I don't have time to tell him it's not open b/c I dash into the metro without looking behind me...(Though I do hear him yelling "je voudrais se marrier avec toi" (i wanna marry you) behind me)...

And that's Paris!

And that's also why I don't bother getting dressed properly on a normal basis. B/c looking ugly here isn't so bad, especially if you don't have to deal with crap like that. It was a little funny when I went over to the Center, I saw Luke and told him what happened...and he was like "I wouldn't doubt it...when you walked in I was like, that's not Tami!"

Hmm...I really didn't do anything other than shower and actually think about what I was wearing for more than two minutes...Honest. Now I just feel like such a piece of crap looking person normally...Sigh.

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