Oddly enough, I feel better. Like I've finally reached equilibrium. Made a fresh new start (albeit with a fresh new OS...perhaps a good thing?). Finally a little happiness to be alive again. Was it Thanksgiving that did it?

I hate being premature with my declarations, but I think it's the change in attitude, the attempted optimism that really did it. It's amazing.

This morning I was called up by the French family to dine with them tonight for Shabbat. Nice.

Then my paper was selected as one of the models (there were two) that the professor made copies of for other students. No, this isn't the paper I'm still stressing about, but that was a nice feeling. She said it was "well-written"--and, I have never felt prouder about a comment before, ever before, because French is really difficult for me, it's been a real challenge coming here with only one semester of French in the last two years--despite the years in high school. And a majority of the people here in my group are French majors, who have written 20-page papers in French before, etc...

Last night I was invited to go to a free music thing tonight with some friends of a friend, but not including that friend, only enough...

I was somewhat asked to do something by Kenny.

I was asked to go karaoke-ing tonight.

I was asked to go clubbing tonight.

Now, the only problem is that (and this always happens to me)...all the people want to do things tonight. I will be at Shabbat dinner until rather late tonight...and, well, I don't even know if I can do anything with anyone. It might all fall through. Or, if I do something with one person, will it alienate another? I can't really afford to do that right now...and we're a small group.

I know I know, what a problem to have. I should shut up while my luck is up.

Oh, another good thing, while I'm on this positive streak...apparently the people at the Center have been announcing my Berlin acceptance thing to everyone, including profs (a very good thing)...I could use the kind words...perhaps they will think better of me. I hope. My only worries...haven't yet bought the Berlin ticket and will miss a class field trip--dunno how to break it to the prof. Btw, my prof of literature here is amazing...she not only helps out the government education research stuff, but she's in Yemen right now for some conference...and just does a heck of a lot of stuff. She's very very compassionate, interested and interesting...I love that class. I just hope that I can do well enough on the work that's to come to impress her, because though we've all talked a lot in class, all the grades come at the end. The midterm is Monday (and I also have a paper due that day)...I had an oral presentation in that class that I didn't do any real prep for except for reading the assignment...I tried prepping with history and facts as well, but I just couldn't make myself write out a whole outline. Anyway, it turned out OK.

To prove this whole mindset thing...I could have easily wrote about the fact that I was late to class, someone spilled coffee on my notebook (and wet a buncha my papers, including a scholarship app), and I got almost every question wrong on this exercise.

But hey, I'm thinking positive. =)

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