Why has my phone been busy so often?...

Answer: My landlords keep forgetting to hang up the phone when they answer a call.

Three more days... Sigh.
They're nice...but...

Anyway, lots to catch up. Friday morning leaving the house, with only a couple hours of sleep under my belt...my landlady asked me to clean the kitchen when I got back...grrr...that meant very rushed lunch, packing...after cleaning.

Got back about an hour ago from Dijon this weekend, found out my landlords had been in my room, broken the lampshade and broken another light. What were they doing?

I hate having people rummage through my things. But, I feigned serenity when I heard about it. What else can I do?

On to a recap of this weekend:

We all left for Dijon on the TGV Friday noon...

I was pretty apprehensive...because I am very much the odd-girl out of the group--in that, I don't often hang out with those people, and wouldn't naturally gravitate towards them as friends in any other normal condition. Regardless, I decided to try and make the best of the situation and socialize...

I put on my headphones and stared off into space while the small cliques joined up to chat in the train station...Then we went in...to choose seats. Joy.

However, I have now got such social situations down to a science. I just prepare to be pariahed, choose my seat, and let the magic work...I was sort of boxed into the early part of the train, everyone sat with everyone, I sat near the director, and two other girls ended up having to sit on our side as well...

Conversation ensued...Hilarious conversation ensued.

Basically, all the conversation this weekend revolved around sex and food. Parfait!

I learned that I am the only person in our entire group who has not done the dirty deed.

Out of all the girls who did do it...only one had actually got an orgasm, which actually really bothered me...what are they doing then?...hmmm...I suppose it's not all about that. But still, there's some principle there that's not quite working out, especially if they've all been doing such things for a while...

One of the girls there recently lost her virginity, but seemed to have done it basically to be done with it, which struck me as odd. I guess that's the new mentality these days...how horrible. (She's older than me.) Apparently, she felt really out of it when people talked about sex, or when people played that finger game...you know, the one where you put her fingers down if you've done something...(I've never played, but I have watched with avid interest....mwahahaha)...

Anyway, this girl had asked a former boyfriend to have sex, but he'd said no...and finally she found someone who had no qualms about doing it with her...here in France. Now she's dating this guy--who she doesn't seem to really care too much, perhaps it's a status thing...and, she's sleeping with him...but seems to really really not enjoy it--she explained her first time...

Every other story I've heard about made me think very highly of the guy involved. Her story made me feel like vomiting. And we'll leave it at that. I felt very sorry for her, and disgusted with the way society has seemingly degraded.

Anyway, Dijon...yes, Dijon. Haha.

We got to the youth hostel, which was very far from the center of the city, and now came the time to choose rooms. Again, joy. Everyone grouped up...there was a room for 6 people and a room for four people. I made a general announcement (not very loud...almost note to self, tho some heard)...that I would sell myself to whichever group wanted me...because obviously I was having no say here. Altho, I was mildly tempted to grab one of the keys, and see who would end up where--that would gimme some of the power...

I learned a lot about the people in the group this weekend...gained a certain respect for some of them, lost it for others. Here's what I learned. I am extraordinarily grateful that I grew up as a tomboy, that I often have more guy friends than girls...grateful.

Why?

Out of the roughly 15 girls there...just about everyone but me and one other girl has or is suffered/suffering from an eating disorder...

That's high school. Thank G-d I was too busy with journalism, work, etc...to be sucked up into the cliches and contests that go on between high school girls. They are brutal...and eating disorders are so common now, it's obscene.

Hearing some of their stories was very scary...you just don't know how common it is. Even little comments that girls make, perhaps they seem like their fishing for compliments. But, they're not. It's a very real problem...too real now.

Anyway, the first night we were there, we all went out for Tiffany's birthday...

Tiffany is from Wisconsin, but she goes to school in Minnesotta. She is definitely not what she appears to be. On a very superficial level, you could easily claim Barbie girl, at least in the way she looks, she's also very seemingly confident. But, there's a lot more to her...She's not the cliquey popular girl that she seems to be, and she really surprised me.

I spoke with her a while back, and she was telling me how she had been homesick, how she was going to go home during Winter Break to recharge, how she felt a certain group of girls were perpetuating cliqueyness in the Center and alienating people. That though she had been part of the group, she was stopping it, because she thought it was isolating for others. I found it very observant and very noble on her part. And, after speaking with her more on this trip, I find that she's extraordinarily down to earth, very vulnerable under her tough, loud, social, extroverted, opinionated exterior...and, a good person. It's hard to find good people.

Though, I doubt we'll ever be more than acquaintance friends. This merely stems from a clash of hierarchical status. I don't fit in that tree...and, well, she appears to help define it.

Anyway, we went out to a karaoke bar for her birthday. Everyone got a little something to drink...I was unsure about it, b/c it was freakin' expensive (we're talking $10 for a drink), and plus I was already tired as hell, after that paper...which already makes me slightly tipsy in behavior...

People made slight fun of me. "Are you sure you wanna be drinking...you're a pretty messy drunk..."--alluding to that one fatal night...Now I've got dirt on me...lol. Yeah, anyway, I drank some (ppl were amazed by my tolerance...so there!)...and yeah...I spoke politics, again. lol...

I got to sing some songs...it was heavenly. But, I chose a Celine Dion song for my second song. Will never do that again...her voice is something else...and I just didn't sing one small (not noticeable, Thank G-d) line, b/c I couldn't reach. hehe. One thing about karaoke...the only real time I've ever felt the need to adopt smoking is during those long musical interludes...you know, when you're just standing there like a fool (the kewl kids dance...)...Me? I just stand there. But, if I had a cigarette...I would just take loooong drags...lol. j/k.

Anyway, the next day we toured Dijon.

Dijon is known for three things. Yes, three...not just the mustard. =)

I ended up breaking off with a small group of people: Michelle, Luke, Andrea and Catherine. Everyone on the trip was either a girl, gay or the Director (male)...there were two guys. You do the math.

Our small group grabbed a nice lunch then walked around. Andrea, formerly identified as laundry comment girl...said something nice to me. Surprisingly enough (now she's better tho)...She told me that she'd been meaning to tell me for a while that she really likes my laugh because it makes her wanna laugh. I found it very warming, genuine and nice of her to say that. I also found it slightly ironic, because I rarely ever laugh here. It's a very very rare occurrence.

Anyway...lunch passed without much happening. I nearly lost my gloves and hat, but someone retrieved them for me...Thank G-d. I alwasy pay the freakin' idiot tax wherever I go..

After lunch they wanted to go clothes shopping. I walked in...walked out...and told them to gimme a call when they were done. I then headed out to buy the three things Dijon is known for...yes, I'll tell you now. Mustard...

which reminded me of when I used to go on field trips in Middle School and we'd caravan...and I'd yell out the window to people in nearby cars with their windows down..."pardon me...do you have any grey poupon???" (a la commercial)...and then duck...laughing hysterically...

Back to the three things...

Mustard, Spiced Bread...and red currant liquor (or something like that)...it's extraordinarily sweet and they make a kir out of that by mixing it with champagne or aligotte...

I wanted to get a bit of all three. And, so I did...

Then I returned back to the store, H&M...they were still there, amazing that? All of them made purchases. Luke bought a dashing red blazer, scarf and gloves...put them all on right after he bought them, and put on his sunglasses. It was quite a sight. lol.

Afterwards, we walked around a bit. Andrea decided on the spur of the moment to get her nose pierced.

But first, we stopped at the Dijon Museum, Musee des Beaux-Arts...it was awesome. I had a great conversation with Luke and the Director, Brent about one painting there that really struck my fancy. I asked Brent a lot of questions...and actually got interesting and satisfying answers. I was enchanted.

I wanted to stay longer, but the others wanted to go do the piercing. So, we left.

We got to the place, they needed five minutes, so I went with everyone but Andrea to go grab a cookie, b/c I really wanted one. We got the cookie, hurried back for the piercing...(they had been setting up)...we went to a back room, and were all getting in order, when...I dropped my bottle of liquor and it broke open and leaked all over the floor, dying the bottom of my jeans as well as my beenie. I was frustrated, pissed and upset...(it had cost a lot, and I hadn't been that sure if I should get it...).

The first thing Luke did was turn Andrea's camera towards the broken bottle...and take a picture. That made me really upset. I couldn't stop the tears. It was very humiliating... I also felt badly because I was stealing attention from the piercing at hand. So I directed everyone's attention back towards Andrea, and moped around myself...However, everyone was pretty nice...

In any case, after yelling at myself for the next hour or so, I went and bought another one from the same store. I told them my sad sob story. They were very sorry for me. They said they're wrap it up better for me. Well gee...I was hoping I'd get a discount...or at least a piece of chocolate! =)

After that whole fiasco was left behind, Catherine and I (who had went to buy the other bottle), met up with the others who were in Sephora. While in there the group of three girls and one guy suddenly got a wild idea. Let's make her over! (Note: her = me)

Now, this always seems to happen to me...

Anyway, Luke has done stage makeup before...so I was basically shuttled between every other makeup counter at the place while he did his "magic." Meanwhile, two of the other girls went over to another store and bought me hairbands, hair clips and a mirror.

A mirror. Geez. I have never ever owned a little mirror...

They all wanted to take me to get my ears pierced right then and there...I decided that was a bit much for one day. lol.

Oh yes, Tuesday they wanna take me to go get my eyebrows waxed...umm...yeah...no thanks...

I know they meant only the best for me. But I prefer feeling adequate rather than inadequate. And their comments, though great for the self-esteem at the moment, would also seem to create a certain future dependance on makeup, etc...

I don't want to be slave to a product.

Take for example Luke's comment while doing my makeup...

He kept remarking..."oh, wow...you're so beautiful...I just never think of you...like...errr...this is how you're supposed to look, you don't know how pretty you would be if you did just..."

How heartwarming.

And yeah, I don't wanna be slave to a product, or products.

On another note, one interesting thing about France, they supposedly love individuality...but, if you look at their fashion. Everyone, and I mean everyone wears the same thing. Their stores are like disposable clothing factories...quality and creativity are trumped by trend. Buying clothing at some of their stores is like purchasing the clothing right off the manican...so you can look like everyone else.

Anyway, the thing about makeup is...I'll wear it for certain occasions. Hey, sometimes it's fun...but, really...I just don't the time for it...And tho people who've seem my prom pictures for example (where I had makeup on) have said that it's probably the best I've ever looked in their opinion...I honestly think/thought I looked like crap. Really, truly do/did. I don't like it at all.

In any case, when Luke finished up everyone got in a big circle around me (after brushing my hair, etc...), and cooed and aaaahed. If I had white skin, I would have been bright red. It was the most objectifying, embarassing...slightly gratifying, slightly humiliating experience thus far...But, hey...it's an experience...

After pissing off the sales people in Sephora, we walked into another department store next door. The other girls all wanted to do their makeup and stuff. I just kinda hung around...sorta bored, but trying to be as supportive for them (with my absolute ignorance of makeup etc...--which the others find fascinating...and makes everyone wanna target me with little makeup items...)...

While in the store I was just standing around...and Luke gave me a short lecture on how I need to stand more ladylike...blahblah...lol. It was rather funny. He does that sometimes.

Anyway, I noticed a palpable change in the way the other girls started treating me (yes, the same girls who had been all sweet just moments ago)...after I put on the makeup. You see, girls are just not nice to each other, unless they feel superior to someone. I'll leave this paragraph in code. For those of you who understand, there's no need to spell out the general idea I'm going for here.

One thing I noticed in general about a lot of the girls. Unless you were very close with one of them, endeared to one of the people in the group...it's pretty rough. Everyone sort of sticks it out for themselves, in the most selfish way. People ditch each other left and right. They don't wait up for you and will just walk away with their "group" of people. Michelle asked for everyone to wait up for her because they ditched her...(I unknowingly participated, but had not heard her say nething...), anyway, she asked for ppl to wait for her at the museum...everyone just dashed up to do what they wanted to do...gleefully, almost...And I was the only one left waiting.

Of course, when Michelle caught up, she just gave me a mere glance, no "thank you" or nething of the sort, (b/c...I don't matter, in that I'm not popular enough, b/c all the popular kids ditched her (yet, it's okay b/c they're popular), and if i'd ditched her, then I would be considered popular...it's a very twisted logic...), and she dashed off to catch up with the others.

I love that feeling.

Anyway, after the store thing we went to meet the others for dinner (the Center was treating)! On the way there I was walking with my hands on (not in, but on) my pockets. Luke was like "hands down"...lol. (I swear my own etiquette/fashion/etc...advisor)...bizarre.

Btw, Dijon was -5 degrees Celsius this weekend. Freakin' cold...with a very chilly wind.

Anyway, we found the restaurant, sat down and relaxed in the warmth while waiting for the others to get there. We ended up sitting next to Brent...who is very intelligent, kind-hearted and just wonderful. When I was really homesick, I basically ended up crying/talking to him for more than an hour, missing part of my class, and he was very compassionate, understanding...helped sort out everything about the High Holy Days...etc...It was great.

When everyone walked in, Luke and them all kept telling me to turn around and show myself off...they were like "hey Olivia! look at her!"...sigh...humiliating...yes...lol.

People were really nice, but I mean, what else would/could they say? Luke kept stealing my camera to take "model shots" of me...it was a very odd night. Tiffany walked by my chair and whisphered in my ear that I looked really beautiful. I admit, I was flattered by all the comments, but more than a little frightened as well. I don't think I'm going to do that again, and now I've got everyone perpetually pestering me to wear my hair down all the time...(really, even on the train back home)...

So, for an appetizer we had a choice btwn escargot (snails), fish and a sort of egg thing. I got the fish...b/c I was a little worried about the snails.

However, there was a quite a group of ppl who did order snails. When the appetizer came, I tried a bit of the snail from Claire, and I loved it. Right then Brent said he would give me his plate (he'd also ordered escargot) and trade with me. He said he had a whole lifetime of escargot in front of him, and "it gives me such pleasure that you enjoy it that it's even better than eating it myself." He really is the greatest director. We all felt so badly for him because he was stuck with ~30 girls, one other guy and his wife and kid couldn't come...But, he bared everything very very well. Including the rampant tampon, period, sex, boy talk. It was funny. (I spared you the big talk about tampons...)...

Anyway, the snails were great. Seriously.

The rest of the meal followed suit. I was between the beef and the duck...and Brent told me he'd order the one I wasn't ordering so I could trade if I didn't like it. It's just such a nice guy thing to do. I know only one other person as selfless about their food. And that's not me...lol.

Everything was delicious. I spoke a lot about journalism, how crazy it was/is...and conversation was all-around good.

More conversation the rest of the night, walked into Luke's room with Michelle to get some soap, found him standing buck-naked, about to go into the shower. But, he just covered up his area, and said it was okay...Andrea was already there using the soap...So, we just washed up in his sink while he started into and started up his shower. It was a little odd...

The next day we did more touring, visited the small town of Beaune...freezing! Anyway...but I gotta now shower and get some hw done. I will update laterz again if I can...

Oh, and one piece of excellent news... I finally got a message back from The Wall Street Journal...They want me to invoice them for...$450. For that one story I did.