I am so uninspired at this moment.

How did this come about? Well, I tried to work on my thesis.

Actually, I did start up on it a little bit. If starting up means re-reading my proposal in order to remind myself the topic.

It was actually quite pitiful. I met with my group last week. We were supposed to read each other's 10-page papers (mine was a mere B.S. proposal/space filler)...the others were well-researched and sourced close readings. Anyway, in my "inability to get anything done-ness" I did not read either of their papers, and...to top it all off...had forgotten the gist of my own topic. Now, there is some good reason for this, I mean, I tweaked my topic somewhat significantly previous to writing the second "proposal"...so how was I supposed to remember which was which a month later!

We get into class and the other two people start asking me questions about my topic, helpfully pointing out things that aren't as clear as they should be, in the hopes that I will clarify them verbally. Instead, I side-step the questions entirely, B.S.ing to the keenest of my abilities, so much so that I believe I am starting to make up a whole new scholarship on my topic.

Group member: Are you going to consider questions of trasmission?
LYLT: Well, transmission will likely be a side issue I take into account depending on the main core of the argument and it's findings in terms of issues surrounding those of what has been transmiss....ssion..ed...
GP: Transmitted...?
LYLT: Err...yeah.

Oh trust me, it was lovely.

...and how did she get into college?

Needless to say, I did not contribute anything to the meeting whatsoever and yammered and stammered on at random points just so that my presence would be at least entertaining...

Typically fear is a great motivator for me. Unfortunately, that's probably an unwise tactic considering that I have months until this will be due...and the final product must be 40-60 pages long.

Of course, the key here is that dash...

I guess the only thing this thesis really does inspire in me is a willingness to blog, do anything, in order to avoid working on it. Hm, how interesting that a lack of inspiration in one area cures a lack of inspiration in another area.

This should be an interesting semester. Interesting. Heh.

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