I can't sleep.

I've been doing a lot of thinking.

I think I think too much.

I want to post a real scathing scathing post.

It'd be a fun read. I promise.

I just don't want to unleash such horrible thoughts onto "paper"...not quite yet. Let them simmer a bit more. The trick is to simmer long enough, making sure there is plenty of water...so nothing gets burned, or worse, explodes.

The thing is, I always forget about that last part. I let things sit, and sit, and sit, and though I ignore it at first, I try and forget it later...sometimes I succeed. But invariably, I will remember, right before it explodes, and that just hurts more.

Oh kay. I will get some sleep.

I barely understand myself.

Sometimes, I just wish things didn't hurt me so much.

And mostly, I just wish I wasn't so numb about everything...except what I want to be numb about.

I hate so many things. Or, at least, I feel that way. But then, I really think about it carefully, and I don't hate anything at all...not really.

You know, sometimes it's all just not worth it. Life is too damn short.

No comments: