1/22/2007

Still awake, t-4.5 hours

...before I must drag myself out of bed, and off to work.

I say drag, because nobody likes being exhausted at work.

So what am I doing up still? So many things on my mind.

For example, this song, with the Hallelujah choruses cut out:

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty
in the moonlight
overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne,
she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

There was a time you'd let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me do you?
Remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah


Which has been stuck in my head all day. Sent by Jack. I find it depressingly sad. And it serves as an interesting backdrop to the not-so-pleasant cinematography of thoughts inside my head.

I'm conflicted about a lot of things right now. Much more than normal--if one can believe that. I'm also feeling a lot stupider than I have ever felt before in my life. I'm not exactly sure why, but regardless of the why, the feeling is persisting for the moment...and it is so odd to feel dumb. Like, dumb blond (excuse my reference, no actual offense meant)...dumb. I mean, I truly feel plain stupid.

I miss something, but I'm not quite sure what. I want something but I'm not sure why. I am slightly uncomfortable with stuff...but can't pinpoint the reason for or the cause of the discomfort.

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

2 comments:

cp22 said...

Whoa, new format. I double-checked your url to make sure I didn't stumble upon a stranger's site.

I'm still trying to straighten out my car crash money matters--argh! I want to wring Mastercard by the neck.

les yeux de la tete said...

And what do you think of the new format?