Ponderings.

I guess that's the reason for a blog in the first place.

Sometimes I check in with myself: reality check. Is everything you're doing what you want? Are you living the life you've always dreamed you'd live?

I think that it is very important to do this.

And so far, I mean, I am very happy with my job. Despite everything, I am doing something I love--and getting paid for it. I think that's everyone's goal.

Yet. I am antsy.

I hear of friends making plans to travel, taking vacations, and I'm having issues just taking off comp days for working extra on the weekend. I don't know why, but I feel responsible, that I must be at the office just in case something happens. I can't shake the bug.

Different bug. The bug to travel. If I keep on like this, I will eventually have to stop things and reevaluate my life a little more seriously. In a year or two I will need to have taken, or take, some time to travel--for an extended period of time. I cannot imagine the rest of my life stretching out before me like this. And if I could, that would be unacceptable. I work to live, though it may sometimes seem a bit opposite. The balance is challenging. But you know, when I'm around here working, I'll give it my all. I just need to get some cojones and figure out how I'm going to get some time off. I don't care about pay either...I'll make it, somehow...

And so, these days, when I evaluate my life, I always think about travel, and how I'm currently grounded. It's been too long. Nearly a year since my last real trip...and I can't stand it. It bothers me every time I think about it. There are way too many places I want to travel to and experience.

I've tried to be happy talking about the new sorta "two week" travel period of corporate America. But I'm not.

Give me a year, give me two years. At worst, I'll need some months.

I've volunteered for Baghdad, so we'll see if I get to go soon. I'm itching to be off!