I've realized I've had this site for two years. Two very tumultuous years. Reading back in the archives...however, it's all very much the same stuff. I mean, stress, depress and work. heh. Hmmm...I should change it up a little bit I suppose. But, in a way it's very nice to have a true diary of my life since I got to college. Regardless of the superficial level of personal detail...

I think all this stressing will give me an ulcer (G-d forbid)...the article comes out tomorrow...and they're cutting me down to 30" + art, which is already pretty monstruous. But, not for the Journal. So, while I'm excitedish...I'm also nervous...will they ever let me write for them again? Will I get paid? Will my expense accounting go through?

It was awesome picking up the phone that first time and identifiying myself as "a reporter with The Wall Street Journal"--man, it felt good. Ah, but the pressure...will kill me! GAH!

I also feel really badly expensing the company for things, so I've been spending (needlessly, some say) my own money for things. But, I just feel badly, like the product needs to match up to the expenses, and since I can't get ahold of ppl, it's odd to charge the company. However, this little bit of paranoia on my part is starting to get really expensive. So, I think I might have to fight this fear. My mom said I won't be the first, nor the last to expense them...which is true. sigh...u know, I bet I have sighed more than anything else in all my posts. Anyone care to do the research? I certainly don't.

I got an email back from a teacher who I've kept in touch with. She was happy to hear that I'm studying in Paris...here's a little excerpt:


Yeesh, I just realized that I have not yet answered this email, which I so happily received a MONTH ago. My apologies. I am absolutely delighted to hear from you, for so many reasons. First of all, you're living in Paris! That was how I spent my junior year as well. Tell me where you live, where you are taking classes, etc. I took my classes mostly at Jussieu (Paris VI) and lived on rue Tolbiac in the 13th, I think. I started living in - a dorm in the 14th and then moved in with some French friends (after I made French friends). Of course, this was a million years ago, but I am sure Paris hasn't changed that much...

It was a tough year for me--all that speaking French and living in a big city. But it did change my life in so many ways. So more power to you. Enjoy. Or at least, experience Paris to the fullest and later you will look back and be happy you did.

By the way, in Paris you can go from fits of depression (tears are normal) to the heights of joy in about 10 seconds. Totally Paris. In my low moments, a chocolate crepe always did the trick."


Hmmm...that information might have been helpful a couple weeks ago...lol. Well, anyway, I emailed her back, subject line: "so i'm not bipolar...". I think she'll get the point.

I already have a fav song on the radio here, don't know what it's called...it's in Spanish, so I can't figure out the title. Though I do think it a little humorous that my first fav song in France is in Spanish.

A song I now officially hate is "This Love" by Maroon 5. I despise that song. I swear they play it every 15 minutes on the radio here; it's an obsession for them! I was already sick of the song back in the States, but this is overdoing...Every time I hear the song I cringe. It's got to the point where I turn off the radio when it comes on. "The Reason" by Hoobastank is getting close also, but I have a little more tolerance for that song for other reasons. But man, they sure test that tolerance.

I'm really excited about the presidential debate tonight...it's at 2:30 a.m. on CNN here, so I'll probably watch it online tomorrow b/c I have no cable, no television in any case, and no friends (with such luxuries...)--u could even possibly omit that paranthetical. =) Now, why do I put in that smiley face, is it self mocking?

Anyway, my friend here at a different school is going to a lecture tonight that her school is putting on--there'll be some CNN ppl who are gonna talk about the debate and stuff. She invited me, I may go...should be interesting...She also invited me to watch the debate, which they will be taping, for students to view on Friday...but, I dunno...I may prefer peaceful viewing on my computer without the Berkeley experience of booing, hissing, etc...that will most likely accompany the viewing at that school. I actually wanna hear what's said.

On another note...or perhaps the same, the UC Berkeley PoliSci Department is plotting against me (just like Gore so eloquently spoke of Bin Laden, "plotting" against us...I just had to laugh out loud when I read that in his op-ed piece yesterday, but then again, at least he self-deprecatingly humoured it up a bit at the end with a sigh..a la debate 2000). Anyway, I digress...the Department won't accept things that are inter-disciplinary, and unless it says "Political Science" on the class, it won't count for them.

Well, damn, guess what?

In France there is no "Political Science"--what they have, even in their "Political Science" School--are just a bunch of courses in public policy, philosophy, econ, etc...Dammit all!

Anyway, the lady at the office said I'm going to have to submit my course decriptions to an Undergraduate Faculty Committee...can you believe that? All that paperwork, bureaucracy...it's enough of a vision to make you wanna committ suicide, why even try? Okay, I'm being needlessly melodramatic there, but seriously...a committee...geez! So, I'm screwed!

Yesterday I went to dinner at a family's house for Sukkot, it was very nice, but it was horrible for me. Walking back there from the synagogue with the father I started feeling very sick (it was Kiddush wine I'm sure...)...I got there and dashed to the bathroom...did not emerge for about 20 minutes...20 long minutes of agony, and not much else...

Then, dinner was nice...but, back in the bathroom right after...for more than 30 minutes...when I got out, I was so tired I could barely stand (don't get disgusting here, it just was very painful and tiring to be writhing in agony...I was so pale and fatigued...).

It was nearly midnight by then...long past the hour of open net cafes, where I was supposed to finish my deadline article that night...

The father had his son walk me home, I tried saying no, b/c really I wanted to throw myself into the gutter, or at least sway back in agony all by myself, without having to make conversation, or pretend away the urgency in my strides to get home, or, more likely, find a bathroom...at any spur of the moment.

Anyway, their son walked me home, and he's really nice, we made small talk, but I couldn't really say much--I was way too tired. He asked me if I always walk as fast as I do...which was really quite slowly last night because if I walked quickly I feared inviting back that sick nasty feeling that was rising in my stomach...in full force. Well, after I told him I usually walk faster, he started walking faster. Joy.

Well, we finally got back to my place and I thank G-d Almighty, b/c my stomach was not a happy camper by then, and I just wanted to see my might porcelain savior...No such luck. He continued making small talk, while I tried to figure out a way to politely exit the situation without being too rude.

(By then I was literally swaying towards my door, unable to focus on what was being said...and kept saying..."thanks" like that'd be a hint...).

Finally, I got away, (now don't get me wrong, he's really nice and was actually trying to be helpful about stuff in Paris...but, man, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.)

I said goodbye and dashed from his presence into my building, nervously prayed in front of the elevator, opened my door, dropped my stuff on the floor, slammed into a big cabinet, and threw myself into the bathroom. Happy times.

I read on a medical site that if you don't urinate for six hours during this illness you're severely dehydrated and probably lacking potassium and something else...gah, some other nutrient, which I've momentarily forgotten. And nutrients in general. Anyway, I hadn't urinated in like...well, more than 72 hours, at least. And I had chapped lips etc...I seemed to be losing tons of this nonexistent liquid tho through multitudes of feverish sweats (and I'll spare the details). Still. Even last night, I woke up entirely soaked in my bed...and had to change my clothes. I'm basically rotating them now, while they dry on my dresser, (they're still soaked each evening from that morning), and after all this I will do a nice big load of laundry.

Anyway, I bought some crackers to eat, cuz I basically can eat nothing else really right now...damn it sux, b/c I love food so much. So, back to the crackers...I thought they were crackers, but no...it's matzah!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, I despise matzah, I avoid it at all costs, and now...I'm eating it...and it's not even Passover. Gosh darnit! I hope this whole thing blows over, quickly.

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