My day's already been a bit overwhelming.

Almost everytime I wear my glasses instead of my contacts, I feel like I'm going through motions, half-asleep the entire day...today has been no exception.

In class today we were going over grammatical errors/questions that had been bothering us. I asked a question about something that has been bothering me for quite a while, something I continuously mess up. For some reason, I don't know why, this girl decided to jump down my throat about it, as if it was the stupidest question in the world. Perhaps it was. But she went on about how stupid the question was, how simple the answer is and how retarded it was of me to ask the question...for about 10 minutes, without a break. While I just sat there silently, languishing in feelings of shame and embarrassment. It was so nice. Eventually another student stopped her. I was so thoroughly upset that I couldn't continue my question. I just wanted to ask her what was wrong with her. Why? That seems to come up a lot nowadays...

I was very quiet for the rest of the class.

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A funny thing happened to me on the way home today. Someone left their suitcase on my car in the metro. Suddenly all the Parisians around me became slightly paranoid and were talking to each other (that, the talking to each other thing, is what got me to look up from my book and my world of music)...

an abandoned suitcase...ppl got paranoid. but, no one seemed to know what to do with it. They were searching through it, I suppose to make sure there were no explosives in it. But, would they be able to really tell? If this were Israel, would it have been too late? People just sat there/squished around the thing...barely two feet away from me, but, didn't do anything. I suggested they give it to the "guy who's driving" (dunno the word for "driver")...

But, really, it just sat there for about five or six stops, and I asked myself...this is a small part of the dilemma everyday Israelis face. Should I get off this train? Should i stay on? I decided to stay on...more likely than not it's just some forgetful person's bag...however, even if it is G-d forbid a bomb, I told myself, it was meant to be. Ah, sweet destiny...

And, to a certain extent, I think I may have done the same thing in Israel. At least to show some faith in the system...I think it's remarkable that the buses still run there...many are dependent on it, others want to show solidarity. I would love to be that brave. But, even on the metro today, I was really nervous and very bothered by the situation. It gave me a lot of things to think about.