It's been quite a while since I posted, and considering my previous roll...you can imagine I have a lot to say. The problem with these sort of wrap up posts is that they end up being quite a mishmash of everything instead of an organized work of art...lol.

So, let's start, shall we?

1) School:

Got back my Philo paper...got one of the few A's in the class. Nearly vomited in relief. Seriously.

Got my grade on my French class paper. Got the highest grade in my class and another class. Again VERY relieved. (And actually a little puzzled...because I feel like I made too many grammatical mistakes...sigh.)

Happy.

2) Weekend outside of Paris with French students:

So, those who spoke with me know I was very apprehensive about going on this weekend trip to hang with other French Jewish students. However, as soon as I got there, I saw Hillel (the other American Jew involved in that here...he's like my male counterpart, lol), as well as Sarah, an English girl here for the semester. Then I met Eyal, an American who is visiting his sister in France from Israel (where he just made aaliya--moved permanently)... I met a bunch of kewl people, so it was quite nice, and already I was happy because I wasn't alone.

Anyway, we played a game of assassin (they call it "killer" here)...I killed two people...this girl tried getting me alone to kill me...but I told her straight out that there was no way in hell she was killing me. She was stunned that I knew what she was up to. Really, it was rather obvious. And plus, I'm paranoid...

Hillel had a great time with a bunch of French girls who fawned over him as he exploited the "cuteness" of his accent. There were very few guys on the trip. Heck, some girls were even fawning over *my* American accent, which I found somewhat disturbing...because I've been trying so hard to improve...

We had a "party"--with sucky DJ music...one interesting thing tho. I really love how sure French guys are of their masculinity. They were freak dancing with each other, hugging, etc...without anyone getting crazy homophobic like American guys. It was refreshing.

Most people at the program, as usual, thought I was older than I am. One girl tried explaining why. She sed it was "my way of speaking"--which I found odd, because, though I could perhaps understand that in English, I feel like I can barely express myself genuinely in French...so, my manner of speaking is rather affected (pun intended). In any case, she said I had a certain assurance when I spoke, a self-confidence and "presence"...I'll take that as a good thing. Though...I dunno about this whole "older" business I keep getting now. I and the English girl conjectured that it was likely because they lived at home, so this was their brief respite away from their parents. Thus, even though they're in university, they're still rather...well, entirely, immature.


The majority of the people there were VERY immature...in an almost annoying way...picture shrieking 12 year olds...Yeah. An illustration if you will: This girl Erin was obviously searching out a boyfriend the entire weekend. She was very nice, but just...would latch onto a guy, or just follow them around (the few there)...Anyway, at the "party" she finally was hanging out with a guy who looked like he'd quite taken to her. They were all touchy with each other (but not in a sexual way...in a very juvenile way). The next day at breakfast Erin tells the English girl (I was sitting right across from them) that it's over with her and her boyfriend. The odd thing about this was the fact that yesterday she had been talking about how she had no boyfriend. So, the English girl asks her what happened. She says she'd kissed that guy last night, that he'd said he had no girlfriend when she'd asked, but that this morning he had said he did. Admittedly, that's a bastardly thing to do...but...boyfriend? She was all depressed too. The English girl and I exchanged confused looks--"so...when were you guys going out?" she asked..."last night we kissed"--was her answer. Odd. Bizarre. Immature? Yes, me thinks so.

Eyal--

So, this guy is 28 yrs old. Yeah, OLD. He did finance. Yeah, Patrick did finance. He's a little bizarre. Yes, Patrick is bizarre. Similarities? Yes. (I hope I'm not developing a "type.") But, Patrick is a great conversationalist...interesting, accomplished, kindhearted, noble...etc...whereas this guy may have been all those things. But somehow...I think he's a little shady. Maybe b/c he had no qualms trying to be in a relationship with me (who is younger than his sister)...which is in itself bizarre.

He was very complimentary all weekend, etc. He said he wanted to get close to me, but was scared of scaring me away. I, on the other hand, really just wanted to be friends. I suppose I am just emotionally unavailable right now.

In any case, conversation is all important in a relationship, and at times I felt like he didn't even want me to speak, that it was bothering him. No good. Screw you man! You see, the reason I doubt I can even successfully date in France is because I wouldn't trust someone who is willing to date me, language-challenged as I am. Because for me, the most important thing is being able to converse with someone I am dating...and, well, it would be important to someone I'd want to date as well. Hence the Catch-22...which is why I doubt my dating future here in France will be successful at all, and which is also why I am not even trying. Not that I know how. Because the guy I'd want to date, would be a guy who would not want to date me. Complicated, I know.

One side thing, it's weird, but people have always randomly asked me if I've played a sport. Then they'd say, "yeah, it's obvious," or some other enagmatic crap like that. I wasn't ever sure if that meant I was too big and muscley...or something like that. Eyal said I had an "athlete's bearing"...that I seemed to always be ready for tip-off, even when just standing around. I suppose it is sort of true, I alwasy want to be prepared. In fact, the whole reason I rarely wear sandals is because I want to be ready to sprint a mile, if necessary. Anyway, Eyal seemed to be blown away by how "smart" I am, (or so he said)...but, the things I said weren't particularly smart or particularly anything. Mostly commonsensical...things I believed in. It was very odd, though flattering. He asked me if I found it hard finding guys who could keep up a conversation with me. Actually, the question gave me a moment to pause and think...and realize that every guy I've had great conversation with...I've ended up interested in. Oddly enough.

Of course, the guy I've had the best conversations with. The person I've been able to just talk forever with without any problems...and who now renders (in relativity) all my other conversations boring, stale and empty...was Patrick. But yeah, we don't talk anymore.

In the process of speaking, Eyal constantly tried correcting my tenses. I would say: "The guy I would date, would...would..."

He'd say: "Will...will...will."

But somehow, I just know it's "would"...that that's most fitting. And I'm okay with that.