Long time no post...

Currently in Prague. A beautiful city...Sort of.

I am alone in an Internet cafe typing this blog entry because of the occurences of this night, which has been hell.

I am currently travelling with Ma'Ayn...a great person normally...but recently a pain on this trip, and I don't know if it's PMS or what...but perhaps I should have seen it coming.

Why?

1) She constantly tries to take a superior position to everything I say...as if showing me I am wrong (and if you know me...this is not something I enjoy)...is her hobby. However, ironically enough, most of the time, if not usually, I am right...And yet, through constant arguing or semantic whatevers, or because I decide to give her some face and not entirely screw our relationship...I just let things lie. That is killing me.

2) She decided to travel to Europe but doesn't like museums, isn't keen on hitting up big sites...doesn't like to rush around...and would prefer to shop and spend money.

Perhaps my opposite.

3) She will ditch me in a second for a guy (even though she is going out with someone...b/c she loves the ego boost flirting gives her)...Maybe I should just tell her that she can have every guy we meet, that I am not competing with her for them...that I don't need their attention...that I only want her to remain on my side and be my friend.


4) When something goes wrong, instead of sympathizing or empathizing...or siding with me...she sides with the other person...or in the case of tonight...persons...and proceeds to make me cry in the most humiliating degrading way possible.

I don't like to cry. Especially in front of people.

5) She likes to sleep in...relax, etc...

Great! But...we have very little time...and I'm spending quite a lump of cash for this trip. It is really becoming quite emotionally strenuous...I don't have many chances to travel here...and I would really like to see all I can.

6) She walks slowly. Blames it on her short legs...and doesn't even attempt to walk faster.

I already feel homesick because she reminds me of LA and of my home...It's also my first time really travelling around on a trip without my parents...I see families together...and think about what a great time I had with my parents and sister...how motivated we were and how many sites we saw...and then I compare it to this. I could just cry.

So tonight we're walking around looking for a bar because Ma'Ayn needs to do some errand thing (details later)...and this other American guy is with us that we've run into and she invited along with us. Basically, I'm leading the way...b/c well...if there's any progress...I usually end up leading the way...

I ask for directions and some guy (kid) with his friend tell us a good bar...point it out. So we start off in the direction...then he runs after us and says he'll show us the way if we want...we say..."wow, that's nice!"

So, they start off walking quite quickly toward the bar...I try following them slightly slower to make up for the huge gap between them and Ma'Ayn and that guy (who are walking together)...I tell her and the guy to hurry up a little bit because I don't feel comfortable running off after them by myself.

Ma'Ayn responds that I should just slow down so they'll wait for us. That she has short legs (for the 5 billionth time)...

You know when you can tell that a person is just saying things to impress someone?
For example, I told Ma'Ayn this builing looked like Sleeping Beauty's Castle...as soon as that guy walked up...she repeated it to him. I was chatting about art...and normally she would make scathing comments to me about stuff when I speak...but in front of the guy or other guys...she doesn't say a thing...even pretends a mild interest. I just wish she would be a little nicer.

We missed our train out of Vienna to Prague b/c we had gotten the stations screwed up...the train station guy laughed at me when I was asking him if we could make it...I was upset about that. She told me to basically get over it and was surprised that I was upset, saying that many ppl are like that...

After a day of frustrations I cannot easily move over to such nonchalance in a half-second. Though I was over the worker guy...I was more upset that she wouldn't even try to understand me or allow me to express my frustrations. Sometimes expression is all that's necessary...and the moment passes. A simple friendly moment of empathy or sympathy even, would have sufficed. I would have carried on. As it was...I felt the division between us enlarge...significantly.

Anyway, back to the story...the guys finally take us to a decentish place...and I say thanks...then the guy says, "well, what are you going to give us?"...Well...maybe I'm naive...I didn't know they expected money. Frankly, I didn't want to pay, I thought it was such a scam...he wanted the equivalent of $10 for a 10 minute walk. To give some context...a meal here costs about $2. I didn't want to pay...but the guy kept asking...and I was trying to argue with him about it...but you know what? Ma'Ayn kept yelling at me, siding with the guy. She said she told me that he would probably ask for something, that that was why she and that American guy we were with didn't wanna follow...

They never told me a thing.

With my only ally siding with the other people...and telling me I was stupid for assuming that I wouldn't have to pay...that it's my fault for asking for help, for directions and letting them show me the way...that I have to pay them...and making me look absolutely horrible in front of that American guy (her goal, I am sure)...and herself "all-knowing"...it was extraordinarily degrading. She starts pulling out her wallet saying that she'll cover me and grumbling about how I better carry more cash, that I owe her...

At this point I burst into tears...while she hands the ppl the money...and I tell her that I had no idea any of this would happen. That it's ludicruous...that it's not like I would do something like this on purpose...that it's just...

horrible.

I tell her I'm leaving, because I have been so thoroughly humiliated, I cannot stay in that bar a second...not with that American guy...who say we cry. Not with her. They tell me to go into the bathroom for "safety's sake"...B.S.

I go in there for a few minutes, finish crying (not really done yet tho...)...and come out...tell them I'm leaving. Tell her I'll meet her at the train station to go to Krakow...at 8:30 p.m.

Now I'm at this Internet cafe. I have an hour. I have only $10 on me. I have to pay for the net, I have to pay for the metro ticket to get to the main train station...and I have to pay her back. I didn't want to pay that guy in the first place...

But now I'm basically forced into it. Perhaps if she had just supported me, like a friend should...then I wouldn't have had to go through such a mess. Who knows...Tell me, perhaps I am being unreasonable?

I know she has access to this site...But I don't care. She won't check it now. That's for sure.

I don't think I will speak with her on the nine hour ride to Krakow. I hope there will be better. I don't feel well. This has really tainted my, albeit short, experience in Prague. I miss my family and I miss home.

I have to go to the bank.